


Darkness Within

by AntiJill



Series: Darkness Series [1]
Category: Antisepticeye - Fandom, Darkiplier - Fandom, Septiplier - Fandom, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Danti - Freeform, Fanfiction, Gay, M/M, Youtuber - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 14:56:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 13,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12390405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntiJill/pseuds/AntiJill
Summary: (Book 1/3) Markiplier's inner demons have always haunted him- until recently, when one demon begins to take over, inside and out. Scared and lost, Mark turns to his closest friend, Jacksepticeye. But Jack has a secret as well. Will Jack save him, or lead him further into the darkness?





	1. Chapter 1- Losing the Battle

**Markiplier** -

          With each day, it was getting stronger. He was getting stronger. I could feel it .

          With each day, I grew more terrified. I knew he could feel it. He loved it. 

           I could no longer look in the mirror without imagining my reflection staring back at me with those terrifying red eyes, the color of sticky, drying blood, instead of my usual chocolate brown.

           I could no longer invite my friends over, in fear that when something funny happened, they would not hear my usual infectious laughter that my viewers loved, but instead that evil, chilling, cold laugh that I heard every night, over and over , in my nightmares.

          It terrified me that I had this darkness inside me at all . A darkness so potent, so powerful, that not only was it able to manifest itself into an actual being, but it was able to take control of me, whisper in my thoughts. A being that was made of hatred and fear and anger, all the feelings  I had tried so hard to hide, that was self aware enough to give itself a name- Darkiplier.

 

 **Darkiplier** - 

          I am Mark. A part of him anyway. I'm not actually that pathetic human. I'd kill myself before that happened. I mean, if you can kill something that's not technically alive. Something that doesn't have a soul.  I'm half of him. His better half, if I do say so myself. 

         Now I know that you reading this, I am aware that your weak and pathetic human mind won't be able to understand this, but I'll try my best to explain it in simple terms.

        But before I start, I haven't even properly introduced myself. I'm Darkiplier, but you can call me Dark. Now that that's cleared up, lets move on, shall we?

       So, I am a part of Mark. Yes, I know I said that already, just shut up, listen and be patient before I slit your throat. Thank you. Anyway, I am a part of Mark, he was right about that. But Mark is human. I, however, am not. I am a demon, born from Mark's inner darkness.  Get this straight- I am not Mark's soul. I am not a half of his soul.I'm just a being, a demon, created from his thoughts and feelings. Everyone, even you, has a demon. Trust me , you do. Oh, you think I'm lying? Do you really want to question a demon? No? That's what I thought. Yes, everyone has a demon inside them, but that's for a different day. I was created by Mark, though he was unaware of it. Mark is so sickeningly .. sweet. Happy. Kind. It's disgusting. I was born as a reaction from these feelings. You may be wondering how that's possible. If I'm a demon, how was I created from good feelings like those?Have you ever heard the phrase 'You can't have the high without the low'? Well, I'm the low. Or  'Every action has an equal and opposite reaction'? Well, Mark was so happy all the fucking time, even when  he didn't want to be.  He just kept pushing all those feelings of hate and anger and fear down, deep inside him. But those feelings didn't go away. They didn't just disappear. They grew, and got stronger. Stronger and stronger until eventually they formed , well, me. And yes, I know , your human mind can't comprehend it, but trust me. I mean, if you want to trust a demon. That's your choice. And , quite possibly, your mistake. 

**Mark-**

          He's getting stronger. I try to suppress him, to fight him, but he doesn't weaken. He's getting stronger. It's as though he's feeding off my fear and weakness. He knows I can't fight much longer, and he's using it against me. Waiting for me to break. I'm starting to lose this battle, and I'm fucking terrified of the outcome.

 

((Well, here you guys have it! The first crappy chapter! I'm gonna post five today, I hope you enjoy it!  
Nice to meet you all!  
You can find me on Wattpad @AntiJill and Quotev @Antijill2599  
See ya!))


	2. Chapter 2- Voice from Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .

**Mark** -

                I was tired. As much as I enjoyed it, making videos was a lot of work, as you'd expect, and it wore me out. I had spent the whole day filming, editing, and so on. That was enough to make anyone exhausted, but the added weight of Dark kept me up at night, so I didn't have much energy . Watching over the videos I had filmed today, it seemed obvious to me, and I was sure my viewers would notice it too. The bags under my bloodshot eyes, the subdued attitude. It seemed forced. And it was. I remember when making videos was an escape from my troubles, when I could spend a few hours forgetting all my problems and just laugh my ass off at stupid videos on the internet, or do ridiculous challenges that sometimes made me laugh so hard that I got tears in my eyes.

             Now that was gone. It didn't matter that the camera was on, I could still hear him. Day and night, he was in my head, torturing me , berating me, telling me to give up. He was cruel, he would drive me to the edge and just when I couldn't take anymore , he would leave. No, he didn't leave , I could still feel his cold presence all the time, but he went silent. After a while, when I thought maybe I could rest, he was back, worse then ever.

           I'm lying in bed, waiting in vain for the sleep that will never come. He's in my head again. Am I going mad?


	3. Chapter 3- Shivers in the Dark

**Mark** -

          "Amy!" I shouted into the dark, bolting upright in my bed. I was alone, shivering , drenched in a cold sweat. 

         "Don't you remember? Amy's gone. She left you, you pathetic piece of shit. And I don't blame her. In fact, I'm not surprised at all. Shivering in the dark, crying out for her like a child cries out for its mother, because of a bad dream. Pathetic. No wonder she left you,"Dark says. 

          "Shut up." I say back.

         " Can't handle the truth, Mark? Does it hurt?" Dark taunts. 

          "I said shut up."

          "So many secrets. So many lies, things you're hiding. From yourself. Your friends. Your family. From Jack. And you don't even have the courage to face them. To deal with your secrets." Dark says in my head.

          "Leave me the hell alone!" . I'm starting to shake with anger, struggling to keep my breathing steady and slow, under control. 

         "What's the matter? I'm just being honest. And besides, I'm only a part of you. Are you scared, Mark? How fucking pathetic can you be? Forget being scared of your own shadow.You're scared of yourself! " . I can hear Dark smiling .

          "Get out of my head!" I scream. I'm losing control of myself, my anger. Heart racing , blood pumping, hands shaking, breathing erratic. This is what he wants. He wants me to get emotional. That's what his plan was. I know I need to calm down, but it's too late now. 

         "Oh, I'm not just in your head. I'm everywhere. I mean, can a voice in your head do...this?"

          With a gasp, I feel my arm, not under my control, swing out and smack into the glass of water on my bedside table. I watch the glass fly off the table and shatter on the floor below. 

          "Scared Mark? Can you feel yourself slipping away? I told you, you wouldn't last long." Dark says.

          Once again, my hand, without my control, wrenches away from me and sends a picture of me and Jacksepticeye that was on the table flying across the room, where it hits the wall with an audible crack. With a final push, I feel  him burst through my control and flood through my being. I feel myself fade away as I lose feeling of my body, and then everything goes black, and I slip away.


	4. Chapter 4- Blood of the Free

**Darkiplier** -

          I jump out of bed, stretching my legs and flexing my arms, rotating my shoulders and wrists and cracking my neck. It feels so good after being trapped inside Mark for so long.  Finally, I can have this body completely to myself. Well, no. Not completely. I can feel Mark stirring in the back of my head, too weak to say anything but definitely there, aware of what was happening. I was slightly annoyed that he was still there. He had this body for years, and now it's my turn. 

        Then , I realized the perks this situation could have. Let him watch while I put his body- No. My body- to good use. Let him feel what it's like to be awake but trapped, suffering and silent, not able to do anything on his own, but still see everything that was happening. This was gonna be fun, I could tell.

        I walked over to where the shattered picture frame lay , on the opposite side of the room. Leaning down, I picked it up and examined it. Mark had gotten so angry when I threw it. In the picture, Jack was smiling, blue eyes shining, his arm draped over Mark's shoulders somewhat possessively. Jack liked Mark, it was so fucking obvious. But Mark, fucking idiot that he was, had been oblivious and never noticed. He thought they were just friends. But I knew things about Mark that Mark didn't know about himself. Being imprisoned in someone's body gives you a lot of time to learn about and observe your surroundings.  

        Mark had always been fond of Jack, but lately those feelings had intensified. Mark, of course, was too much of a pussy to say or do anything about it. Although , as much as he denied it, he always got very defensive and hostile whenever I mentioned Jack. Whenever I wanted to get him angry, to break him slowly, all I had to do was talk about Jack. It worked every time. 

         I looked down again at the shattered picture in my hand, and noticed for the first time that my finger was bleeding. The way I'd been holding the broken picture frame, a small shard of glass had cut me, not too deeply but enough to draw a decent amount of blood. 

       With my injured finger, I smeared a small bit of blood onto Jack's beaming face in the photo. Smiling, I licked my finger, savoring the metallic taste. I could feel Mark cringing and gagging. The little bitch hated the taste and sight of blood. 

       "Don't worry , Mark" I promised, not being able to keep the smile off my face. "There's plenty more of that to come."

((Okay, I lied. I'm not going to post five chapters, I think this is a good dropping point for now. Yes, I know, this book is cringy, I PROMISE you, books two and three are SO MUCH BETTER, and this is coming from a person that hates their work, so...))


	5. Chapter 5- Screams of the Captive

**Mark** -

          "Let me out of here!" I scream. 

         I'm awake, I can see everything through my eyes, or Dark's eyes now. But I have no control. I'm losing it. It's hard to explain how it felt, but for once, I actually felt kind of sorry for Dark. Being trapped this way for so long- no wonder he wanted out so badly. 

       Is it possible to have a panic attack when you can't feel and have no control of your body? I don't know, and I really hope I don't find out, though it feels like I'm getting to the point where I'll have no choice. 

       "So Mark, is it cozy in there? Are you comfortable?", Dark says.

       "You motherfucking bastard. You got what you wanted. Why do you still have to torture me?"

       "Because it's fun." he answers matter of factly.

       "Oh, and can you stop screaming and yelling in there, please? You're giving me a headache." Dark says. 

       "Oh, kind of like the ones you've constantly given me for the last I don't know how long? Consider it payback, bitch." I retort. 

       "Wow, that's petty. Even so, payback or not, it's useless. You might as well give up, no one can hear you but me." 

       "Yeah, maybe if I scream and annoy you enough, you'll kill yourself and go away." I say.

        Dark chuckles and says "Interesting idea, but there's one major flaw in your plan."

        "Oh yeah? What?"

        Dark says "I may be pulling the strings now, but this was originally your body, and you're still here, so if I die, you say bye-bye too, Markimoo." 

      I'm silent, thinking over this news. He's right and he knows it. 

 **Dark** -

      That finally shut him up. God, he was so annoying. But I wasn't saying that just to muzzle or scare him. Okay , it was to scare him, yes, and it worked, so that was an added bonus.  But I wasn't lying. If Mark really pisses me off, he better hope I don't have an ... accident. But I'm not planning on that anytime soon. I've finally gotten control and I don't plan on wasting it, losing my body, anytime soon , after waiting so fucking long.

      I go to the fridge to find something to eat. Hey, even demons have to eat sometime.  I grab a gallon of milk and drink straight from the jug, because I am just such a badass.


	6. Chapter 6- Raise a Finger

**Dark-**

"Ew, that's fucking nasty, man."Mark says as I take a swig of milk straight from the jug.

"How so? It's your mouth.", I say, smirking.

"Well, yeah, but...", Mark starts to say but trails off.

"Hmm? What did you say? I'm waiting for something that resembles a valid argument."

"You're an asshole, you know that, right?" Mark retorts.

"You're just saying that because you know I'm right, and you don't want to admit it, so now you're mad  ."

"Oh, I'm mad? Glad you noticed. I'm mad because you TOOK OVER MY BODY!" Mark says angrily.

 "God, you're naggy. I don't remember taking over the body of a 65-year-old mother-in-law."

 "Oh, fuck you"

"Hey, don't be rude. And anyway, I think that would be pretty hard for you to do, being that we inhabit the same body." I say, smirking.

"Oh wow, look at you. You're so witty. You might as well rename yourself Mr. Clever."

I pick up Mark's phone with my free hand and enter the password. No new texts or calls. Figures, as it's three in the morning.

"What- how do you know my password?" Mark asks.

 "Dude, are you that stupid? Just because I couldn't control your body doesn't mean I wasn't there. I saw everything through your eyes."

 "Oh. Yeah."

 "Wow, you're a bigger idiot then I thought, Mark. And that's saying something. You know, it might actually be better for you that I took over your body."

"You know what? I oughta- you're lucky I don't-"

"Don't what, Mark? You can't do shit. You can't even raise a finger." I taunt.

 Suddenly I feel a wave of anger, a surge of strength, come from Mark. My middle finger, not of my own volition, raises up and points at my face.

"You see" Mark says in my head, but the next words come out of my mouth, even though it's not me saying them "I actually can."

 I feel my control weakening, the jug of milk, still in my hand, slips from my grasp and falls to the floor as I lose feeling of my body. Then everything goes black.

 

((So, I most likely won't be able to update tomorrow, so I can either give you five more chapters and leave it at that for a few days, or just leave you with this for now and update on what most likely will be Thursday. It's up to you guys, whatever you would like me to do is fine by me!  
As always, I hope you're enjoying this so far, and thank you so much for reading my shitty writing!))


	7. Sleep of the Fighter

**Mark** -

         I open my eyes and take a deep breath. In, out. In, out. After a few seconds, I realize that I'm the one breathing. I'm controlling my breaths, each inhale and exhale. Me. Not Dark. I sigh with relief, allowing my shoulders to relax. I didn't realize how tense I was.

       My feet are cold, and I look down to see that I'm standing in a puddle of milk that must have opened and spilled when it hit the floor after Dark lost control. Speaking of Dark, I can feel him , once again in the back of my head, where he belongs. No, he doesn't belong there. He shouldn't be here at all. If I had it my way, he'd be gone.

       I can feel him. He's upset. No, furious. He's seething.

      "Aww, Dark, don't cry over spilled milk", I say, trying not to laugh at my own stupid joke.

         "Oh, suck my dick." Dark says angrily.

         "Well", I say, using his joke from before back on him, "Last time I checked, you're not a physical being, so that's kinda hard for me to do at the moment."

        "You know what? Kiss my fucking ass, Mark."

       "Don't have that,either."

       "Oh my God! You're so..." Dark trails off.

      "At a loss for words, Dark? I'm shocked. That's a first."

        Dark is silent, finally. I look at the time- 3:09. It's pitch black outside. Suddenly, I realize just how tired I am. It hits me out of nowhere, a wave of pure exhaustion. Fighting Dark internally and then having him take over and using all my strength to regain control has spent any and all energy I had. I can feel my eyelids drooping. Without even bothering to clean up the milk on the floor, shutting off the lights in the kitchen, I barely manage to drag my legs, which feel as though they're made of lead, to my room, where I collapse on my bed and instantly feel my self drifting, fading, falling into a deep sleep, without even having time to wrap myself in a blanket.


	8. Uneasy Silence

**Mark** -

I woke up the next morning and glanced at the clock, realizing several things at once: one, it was almost 12:00, I had slept almost 9 hours. Glancing out my window, I saw that the sun was already high in the sky. I was shocked, I usually never slept this late. And for once, I actually felt well rested. No dreams, no tossing and turning, no waking up in the middle of the night. I sat there, enjoying the calm and quiet. That's when I realized- quiet. It was completely quiet, not only in my house, but in my own head as well. I felt more energized then I had in a long time. That's when I remembered the events of last night. Our mental battle for control, dominance. Him taking over, me using everything I had to regain control. The things he had said.

I waited, silent in my bed, knowing that it wouldn't last. Waiting for Dark's mocking, cold voice to sound inside my head and shatter my sense of peace. I waited and waited, knowing that it was inevitable, that it would come any minute now. A few minutes passed, and nothing. He was silent, completely and utterly silent, for the first time in God knows how long. For a quick second, I dared to hope against hope that he was actually gone, no longer with me. But I knew better then to get my hopes up. I could still feel him there, even though he was silent. But he felt.. subdued. And besides, whatever I had done last night was only temporary. In no way had it been enough to get rid of him completely, I was just going to be honest with myself. But I was happy it had worked. You never realize how lucky you are to have a body you can move and control until you longer have it.

After a few more minutes of waiting in bed, I came to the conclusion that he was either to angry or exhausted from his bout last night to speak up. I didn't like it. I was relieved, of course, but it made me nervous all the same. I had no idea for certain what his silence meant. For all I knew, he could be secretly planning at this moment to take over again. But knowing the peace of mind wouldn't last forever, I decided to take advantage of it while I could. I got out of bed and went to go make breakfast. I would sit and eat while watching television, take a little break for an hour. Then I would record some videos. Energized, renewed, and happy, I was looking forward to being able to play a game and completely enjoy it without Dark torturing me.


	9. Relief of the Saved

**Mark** -

       I had a very relaxing, productive day. I filmed a few videos, actually having fun and enjoying myself. For the first time in a while, I was reminded of just how much I loved what I did for a living. It was fun, both to make the videos and to see so many people enjoying them, especially when you didn't have a psychotic demon's voice talking to you that only you could hear.

       I played two games, took a few stupid online quizzes, and did a 'try not to laugh challenge' (more like a 'why the fuck are you even trying, you're a giggly bitch and you know it' challenge). When I posted one of the videos, I looked through the comments. Mixed in with all the 'fuck me daddy' 'fist me senpai' 'and 'pls mrry me boo' comments were ones that said 'hey, you seem to be feeling better, that's great!' and 'Great to have you back, Markimoo' and ' Aww there's that real, happy smile we all know and love'. As usual, I was overwhelmed by the huge outpouring of support from my fans. Still, I felt as though they deserved an explanation. But what was I gonna say? "Hey guys, sorry I've been acting weird lately, I've been battling with a demon inside me who's been constantly trying to possess me, but I'm okay now"? That wouldn't get me anywhere fast, except maybe the mental hospital.

      Turning on my camera, I decided to wing it. "Hello everyone! I just wanted to say thank you for the outpouring of concern and support, especially recently. I've been going through a rough patch lately, but you guys stood by me, and I wouldn't have gotten through it if it wasn't for all of your help and patience. But I'm happy to say that I'm back, and I'm looking forward to making videos and making you guys smile. Thank you all so much for your patience, love, concern, and support. Thank you everybody so much for watching, and as always , I will see you... in the next video! Buh- Bye!". I waved and still smiling, I turned off the camera and sighed happily. I was back. Maybe I was wrong, maybe Dark really was gone. I posted the video without editing it, watching the comments roll in. I couldn't stop grinning. I couldn't remember feeling so happy in a long time. There was nothing that could ruin my mood. I was back, bitch!

 **Dark** -

     Oh, poor little Markimoo, you couldn't be more wrong.


	10. Eyes of Blood

**Mark** - 

    "Hey, really nice editing, man!"

   "Yea, those red eyes looked so real, for a moment I actually thought they were!"

  "Holy shit Mark, those eyes are fucking terrifying!"

  "Are those contacts?"

       I'm reading through the comments of my latest video. What? Red eyes? What are they talking about? I stop reading the comments, and scroll up and press play. I don't pay attention to the video, really, just staring at my eyes the whole time. Sure enough, throughout the video, every few minutes, my eyes seem to melt from their normal brown to a deep blood red. It only lasts for a second each time, then fades away, but it happens several times. Then, towards the end of the video, they stay red, for almost 10 seconds. How did I not notice this when I was editing? How?

     I'm sitting, confused, anxious and worried, when out of nowhere, a shudder runs through my body like a shockwave. I feel a quick, sharp, stabbing pain in my head.

     "Hey, Mark! Miss me?"

     I cringe, hearing the cold mocking voice inside my head, for the first time in several days. How could I have been so stupid? He never fucking left, he was here the whole time! Growing stronger. 

    I suddenly have an idea. I know I can't do this alone. He may think I'm crazy, but hopefully, he'll believe me. He's smart, he'll know what to do. We'll get through this together, we'll figure something out. Without thinking, I grab my phone and, with shaking hands, call Jack. I wait two rings, starting to panic. Is he not going to pick up? I need to talk to someone.  Finally, after three rings, he answers.

    "Hello?" 

   "Hi, Jack. Uh, I need to talk to you about something.."

   "Is everything okay? You sound pretty freaked out." Jack says. 

   I'm quiet for a minute, trying to get my thoughts together.  Then I speak.

   "Something's going on, Jack. I need your help. Can you please come over? It's a long story, too much to go into over the phone. I'll explain it to you when you get here."

  Jack is silent for a moment.

  "Uhh, Mark, I don't know. I'm kinda going through something right now, and-"

 "Jack. Please." I sound desperate, but I don't care. I need someone to be with me, to help me. I'm scared.

  "I'm sorry, Mark, but-"

  Suddenly he freezes, midsentence, the line goes silent. Half a minute later, I hear him say "Yea, absolutely. I'll pack my bags, and be there tomorrow. We're gonna have so much fun." With that, he hangs up, and the line goes dead.

     I sit there, staring at the phone in my hand, confused but grateful for his sudden change of heart. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I need to clean up a bit before Jack gets here. I get up. First, though, I head into the kitchen. I'm starving, which is strange, as I just ate a full meal maybe an hour ago.


	11. Haste of the Host

**Mark-**

       I told myself I was going to make the house clean for Jack, but I should have known I was lying to myself. Somehow, my plan of: vacuuming the house, cleaning the guestroom, cleaning the kitchen, and other tasks turned into: straightening the couch cushions and pillows, throwing a clean fluffy blanket on the guest bed, spraying air freshener around the house, picking up dirty socks off my bedroom floor, and taking out the trash. I looked around, it seemed enough. It had been a long time since Jack had come over, even though he lived much closer to me after moving from Ireland to the USA. I was a little nervous. I tried to come up with reasons for the way my house looked- Jack might be embarrassed if he came and saw that I had made a big deal over him, while just making the house neat but homey and lived in would probably make him feel comfortable. Oh, stop bullshitting yourself, you're just too lazy to clean. I thought to myself. 

    I took one last look around, making sure the doors were locked and lights off.  Chica was already upstairs, fast asleep, her legs sprawled out, taking up almost half the bed. I got ready for bed, and was almost asleep when I heard "I'm so excited, aren't you?" I bolted upright, my sudden movement startled Chica from her slumber. She looked at me, her eyes half closed, gave a little huff of air, then put her head down again. I sat there, just staring into the dark, waiting. Then- 

"Are you nervous? Scared Jack-a-boy isn't gonna like your house?"

      I rolled my eyes, and said "No, I'm not nervous. Nothing is going to happen. In fact, the whole point of him coming over is so he can help me get rid of you."

     "Aww, that's cute." Dark said. "You actually think you can get rid of me? That's adorable, really. And anyway, what makes you think he's gonna believe you? He'll think you're crazy."

    "No, he won't. Jack is my friend, he'll believe me." I said, trying to sound confident, but inside, I wasn't completely sure. Dark did have a point. What sane, rational person would believe me? The normal course of action would be to put me in a straight jacket. No. Jack wouldn't do that to me. We would get through this, and it would all be over in a couple of days. 

    Dark was silent for a few minutes. Figuring he was done for the night, I relaxed, sinking into my pillow, snuggling into my blankets. But just before I fell asleep, a question arose in the back of my mind, and it troubled me, but I didn't have much time to dwell on it before the waves of sleep pulled me under: What exactly have I dragged Jack into?

   :::::::::::::::::::::

    The next morning, I woke up early. Jack had texted me the night before, telling me his flight would be landing in the morning and he'd take a taxi to my place, so I sent him my address. I went into the kitchen, intending to make some breakfast before both of us. I opened my refrigerator and -"Shit. I forgot to go food shopping." I was looking into a near empty fridge. I sighed and closed the refrigerator doors. I guess we could go to the diner.

    I was just walking out of the kitchen when the doorbell rang. I went to the door, Chica barking, and opened it. What awaited me on the other side made me gasp.


	12. Dress for the Occasion

**Mark** -

     I opened the door and was shocked by what I saw. Jack stood on the other side, but he didn't look like Jack. Instead of the energetic, smiling, dancing eyes Jack that I knew, this stranger had dark circles under his eyes. His skin was paler than usual, if that was somehow possible. He looked as though he could fall asleep on my front step. Even his green hair looked exhausted and more messy than normal, as though he simply hadn't had the energy to run a comb through it. And, yes, I knew that after a long flight, many people don't look well, but this wasn't just travel lag, this was pure fatigue. 

   Still, he hadn't lost his sense of humor. He took one look at me and tried not to laugh, then said "So, I see you dressed up for me! You shouldn't have!" I looked down, and realized that I was still in my pajamas, red flannel pants and an old, lose, ratty t-shirt. I felt my cheeks go red. Trying to keep an already awkward moment from getting more awkward, I stepped outside and grabbed one of his bags, and he followed me inside, pulling his suitcase behind him.

 

 

(Sorry, sorry, I know, really short chapter.)


	13. Hospitality

**Mark** -

I led Jack inside, setting his stuff down in the living room.

"Thanks for letting me stay at your place, Mark. Although you are the one who asked me to be here in the first place," Jack said, smiling.

"I'm just glad you're here, I really appreciate it."

Jack ran a hand through his messy green hair and yawned. "Holy shit, I'm tired. But I'm also hungry."

"Funny you should say that, actually. Just before you got here, I was gonna make us both some breakfast, but realized that my fridge is empty. You look dead on your feet, so how about this- you take a nap, get some rest. Then, after you get some sleep, we'll go to this really good diner nearby, and on the way back home, we'll stop by the supermarket and pick up some food."

"Sounds like a plan." He said through a yawn.

I led him upstairs to the guest bedroom, him lugging his suitcase, me carrying his other luggage. When he walked in, he looked around. The room was nothing fancy, just a bed, closet, some drawers, a trunk at the foot of the bed, and a desk and night-table. It was painted a light shade of blue, with the furniture a deep brown. 

I set his bags down at the foot of the trunk, and he wheeled his suitcase to put it next to the door.

"Thanks again, for doing this for me." he said.

"You don't have to thank me, just get some sleep! You look like shit."

"Gee, thanks, asshole."

"Bathroom is down the hall, and if you need anything, my room is across from the bathroom, but I'll probably be downstairs, recording."

"Thanks, Mark.

I walked out of the room, and went to check on Chica downstairs. She was fast asleep on the couch, which explained why she wasn't all over Jack. After barking when the doorbell rang, she got bored and went away, but I knew that when she woke up, Jack would be getting the third degree. 

I went to my recording room and set up, turning on my mic, lights, and camera. I was all set, when I realized I was still in my pajamas. Going back upstairs, I passed Jack's room, and was greeted with a funny sight. Jack was sprawled on the bed, limbs splayed out like a starfish. He was fast asleep, and his sneakers were still on his feet. I laughed quietly to myself, this was the calmest I had ever seen him. Already, he looked refreshed, not so worn out. I was right, he needed the sleep. For a moment, I thought about taking his shoes off, then thought better of it. I didn't want to risk waking him up. 

I took one more look at him. He was so peaceful. I was grateful for it. No nightmares disturbed his slumber. He was untroubled, at peace. I hoped that it stayed that way. I closed the door quietly, so I wouldn't wake him up with my noise,wincing when it squeaked a bit on it's hinge. I froze, not breathing, but he slept on.  Closing it the rest of the way, I went to my room and got dressed, then went to record some videos.


	14. Strange Habits

**Mark** -

 

Jack had been staying with me for three days now. We had filmed several videos together, for both of our channels. When we had free time, I was showing him around LA, my favorite sights and hangouts, good places to eat. We went to the Hollywood area together, taking pictures next to the stars of our famous actors and actresses on the Walk of Fame, as well as stupid pictures and poses with the wax figures at Madame Tussauds. In the evening, we would eat dinner and then sit on the couch, editing videos, side by side but in our own separate worlds.

Each night we watched a different horror movie. There was one time where Jack's hand was next to mine, resting on the couch between us. At one point in the movie, I got scared and instinctively grabbed Jacks hand. A second late I realized what I'd done and quickly let go, blushing and embarrassed, grateful that the room was dark so he couldn't see my flaming cheeks.

There were some things that were.. weird, as well.

One morning I came down to make breakfast, Jack was still asleep. I walked into the kitchen, and noticed that the refrigerator door was open. What's more,food was missing.  When I asked about it, he denied it. Weird. Why would he lie? I mean, late night fridge raids were a bit strange, but why didn't he just admit it? I wouldn't get mad.

Later that day, I was going to my room, when I felt a cold draft in the hall. Looking, I saw that Jack's window was wide open.

"Hey, Jack?"

"Yea?" he looked up from his laptop, where he was sitting on the couch.

"Do you want me to close your window?"

"Huh? "He looked startled.

"Don't look so nervous, I'm not mad or anything, I just wanted to know if you want it closed."

"O-oh. No it's okay, leave it. I-I leave it open, when I sleep. You know, cool air."

"Do you want me to turn up the air conditioning? If it's too hot, I can adjust it."

"N-no. Its fine, really. I just like the fresh air."

"Okay. "

I walked into my room, a little confused. It wasn't a big deal, honestly. Many people slept with their windows open, I didn't have a problem with it, but why had he gotten so nervous?

I shook my head to clear it. I had other things to worry about.


	15. Troublesome Thoughts

** Mark- **

I walked downstairs.

 

Jack stood there, smiling.

He shouldn't be smiling.

He was so happy, all the fucking time.

Disgusting.

What? Why did I just think that?

Why can't I be happy like that?

It's not fair.

"Mark? Is everything okay? " his voice interrupted my thoughts.

My thoughts? Were they mine? Really, mine?

"Yoohoo. Mark. Earth to Markimoo." He was looking at me. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

 

"W-what?"

 

"I asked if you were okay."

"Uh. Oh yea. Fine. Why?"

"Nothing, really. You were staring at me, that's all, and you looked.. angry. Really angry. I thought maybe I left the toilet seat up or something" He laughed.

He treated everything like a joke.

Like everything was so fucking funny.

Couldn't he see what was happening? To me? Did he think it was funny?

Before I knew what I was doing, words were coming out of my mouth.

"Its not funny."

"What?" his smile faded.

"I said it's not funny, asshole. "

"Um, sorry Mark. I- I didn't know you were so serious about toilet seats" he smiled weakly.

"Stop." The words were coming out of my mouth, but I didn't know.. were they mine?

"Mark? Are you sure you're okay?" Jack said, taking a step back.

I looked down to see that my hands were clenched into fists, so tight my knuckles were white. When did that happen?

"I'm fine. Just-just tired. I need to go. To sleep."

I looked at him. I noticed, that while a minute ago, he had looked worried, scared, now he.. he was.. smiling. His eyes, usually a light clear blue, looked darker, almost black. A trick of the light? Either that, or just my tired mind playing tricks on me. Or maybe- maybe Dark was messing with my head somehow. That must be it. Something like that. I needed to get away right now. Go to sleep.

"Alright, Mark. Not a problem. Not a problem at all." I could hear the smile in his voice. Why the fuck was he smiling? I shrugged inwardly- this was Jack, after all. He could be weird at times.

I turned and started up the stairs. In the middle of the stairs, I heard Jack's voice say behind me "Goodnight, Markimoo. Sweet dreams."

-

Mark didn't turn around, just waved a hand in farewell and kept walking upstairs. He didn't see Jack staring at him, his eyes almost hungry in their gaze. He didn't see his sharp teeth gleaming In the dark, the light from the window next to him reflecting eerily off his smile.


	16. A/N- Thoughts?

Okay, everyone. We're a little more than half way through this book! Wow!

What do you guys think so far?

Favorite parts?

Rants?

Questions?

Criticism? 

Feel free to let me know!

Actually, please do! I love hearing from you guys!

Happy Halloween!


	17. Chapter 16- Breaking

**M̸̡̞͕̤͓̮̱̩͇̮̫͎̘̼̯͈̅̾̍̽̍̉̿̂̇͝͠a̸̡͖̠̰̳̗̺̘̫̭̞̻͚̼̬͓͖̱̙͙͌̀̄̇̈͗̑͆͐̿͐̎͌̔̎͐͆͐̈́͠ͅr̸̡͈͓̘͇̙͙̮͔̯̜̻̯͎͍͓̠̜̣̓ͅk̵̨̛̖͕̼͉̪̫̝͓̠͊̍̊̓̅́̆͘̚͝ͅ-̷̧͉̦͉̟͙͈̱͎̀͐͐͗̇̌͋͌̓͛̂̋̈́͗̔͑̈́͊̑̚͠͝**

 

jack has been here for four days now.

he still doesn't know why i wanted

_< needed>_

him here.

 

he still doesn't know about

< _sleepless nights_

_shattered glass_

_murderous thoughts_

_spilled milk_ >

Dark.

 

he'll think i'm insane.

he may be right.

he is right.

 

he is a bit suspicious, but he still seems to think things are okay.

he doesn't know that everything is

_< breaking_

_shattering_

_collapsing_ >

different.

 

i need to tell him.

*********************************************************

Hello everyone! Sorry, this chapter looks so weird. It's actually inspired from the style of one of my favorite books of all time, family by Micol Ostow. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it, it's an artistic, poetic, haunting, terrifying, absolutely amazing book


	18. WooaHHHH

gUYS!

GUYS GUYS GUYS!

i'M SCREAMING!

 

I'M GONE FOR LIKE THREE OR FOUR DAYS AND i HAVE 229 HITS AND 16 KUDOS?! WHATTTT?!

THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH!

NOW, YOU GET TO CHOOSE! HOW MANY CHAPTERS DO YOU WANT POSTED TODAY?


	19. Chapter 17- Disturbed the Quiet

**Mark** -

 I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen , bare feet shuffling on the floor. My hair was a mess and I was still in my pajamas, but I didn't care,  I more comfortable around Sean after having him here for a few days. I yawned widely, stretching, and reached for two mugs from the cabinet above my head.

"Morning, sleepyhead." a familiar voice disturbed the quiet morning atmosphere of the sunny kitchen. Startled, I turned toward the source of the voice, banging my head on the corner of the open cabinet door. "Shit!"

"Sorry." Sean said, laughing. I looked at him. He was wearing loose fitting pajama pants and no shirt, fluffy bunny slippers completing the look.

"Mark!"

"Huh?"  I asked, blinking. I realized I'd been staring and quickly turned around, trying to hide my burning cheeks from his view.

But why was I staring?

"Like what you see?" I could hear him smirking.

"What? N-no. I was just surprised your chest hair isn't green." I retorted lamely.

"Haha, very funny. Bit of advice- when you're gawking at someone, you might want to not open your mouth so much, or a bird might fly in. Seriously, your lower jaw was almost brushing the floor, and God knows what's on this floor, never mind how long its been since you last cleaned it."

  
Still holding the mugs in my hands, I set them down on the counter. "Shut up before you make your own breakfast." I muttered.

  
"To be completely honest with you, that wouldn't be a bad thing, as I'm a much better cook then you."

  
I grabbed a wooden spoon from the counter and ran over to him, swatting him on the ass. "Get out of here, go watch TV or something." I waved the spoon threateningly. "And put a shirt on!" I added.

  
"But I like to  _breathe!"_ he whined.

"Oh, I'll show you breathing in a second!" I said, grabbing a dish towel and flicking it at him.

He grabbed my wrist in the air with lightning speed, gripping it tightly. "Did you just threaten me?" he asked, staring at me.

"W-what if I did?" I asked, suddenly tongue tied, unable to look away. 

  
He didn't say anything, just raised his eyebrows before releasing my arm, intense blue eyes releasing me from their stare before turning around and walking into the living room, sitting on the couch and turning on the TV as though nothing happened. I looked at him for a second before reaching for the box of pancake mix on the shelf.

"You still didn't put a shirt on." I muttered under my breath.


	20. Chapter 18- Nothing I Can't Handle

**Mark-**

When the pancakes were finally done, I put them on plates and brought them into the living room, along with a big bottle of syrup. I went and grabbed our coffee and handed a mug to Sean before sitting down next to him. As we ate, we made plans to go shopping and then record some videos in the park. I finished my food and got dressed and ready to leave.

We didn't talk a whole lot throughout the day, each of us seeming to be in our own worlds. The few serious conversations we had went something like this:

As we walked to the park-

"Hey, Sean?"

"Yea, Mark?"

"I was wondering where Signe is. You haven't mentioned her in a while."

His face closed off, he looked uncomfortable.

"We, er, decided to call it off. It just wasn't working out, it was a mutual decision."

I decided to let the subject drop.

 

A few hours later, I was looking at Sean when I realized something.

"Sean, are you feeling okay?"

"Yea, why?"

"It's just that you're really pale."

He rolled his eyes. "Really? You think?"

"No, I mean, more than usual. And you have dark circles under your eyes. Are you sleeping okay?"

For a brief moment, I thought I saw fear flash through his eyes.

"Y-yea, I'm fine. Just some bad dreams. Nothing I can't handle. "

"Sean-"

"I said I'm  _fine_."

"Okay."

 

When I walked in the door that evening, I was mentally and physically exhausted. Obviously Chica was, too, as she was passed out on her bed.

I was about to go upstairs when Sean called me.

"Mark?"

"Yes?"

"Um, I was wondering if you could watch TV with me? Just for a few minutes, it helps me wind down."

  
I yawned, but Sean was giving me a look I couldn't say no to.

  
"Fine." I sat down on the couch and kicked off my shoes, Sean sitting next to me a moment later. I turned on the TV, but I had no idea what I was watching. It was just a screen flashing colors, the only light in the dark room, an indistinct mumble of voices. For some reason, in that moment, I felt strongly just how close Sean was to me. His leg was against mine. I stared ahead at the TV, neither of us saying anything, in our own worlds.

  
I was distracted when I felt something touch my shoulder. I looked over in the dark slightly to see Sean fast asleep, his head on my shoulder. I sighed and gently stood up, laying him down on the couch. I was about to go upstairs when I thought I heard a word-

  
"Stay."

  
I paused on the bottom step. "What?"

  
"Please." he mumbled sleepily. "I can't sleep alone. The nightmares."

  
I pursed my lips and sighed, walking back to the couch. There wasn't enough room for the two of us, so I sat down at the end of the couch, next to Sean's messy green hair, putting my feet up on the coffee table and relaxing. Sean sat up and scooted himself up the couch, and then placed his head on my lap.

  
I froze.

  
What was I doing?

  
What was going on?

And why did it feel so right?

  
His warm head on my lap, I soon drifted off to sleep, but not before I heard a whispered "Goodnight, Mark."


	21. Chapter 19- Maybe You

(One more chapter today- just to leave you on the edge of your seats.)

 **Mark** -

I woke up the next morning, Sean still asleep. I started to get up, moving as slow and gentle as I could, but he woke before I could stand up. He looked up at me and his cheeks flushed. "I-I'm-"

"Don't mention it."

"Okay."

-

We spent most of the day on the couch, editing side by side. I kept looking at Sean, though, scolding myself each time.

Stop it.

He's just a friend.

Last night didn't mean anything.

Just forget it.

My thoughts were interrupted when Sean said out of nowhere-

"What happened to Amy? I haven't seen her, and you haven't mentioned her. Are you two still...?"

"N-no. We decided we weren't right for each other." I lied.

"Sorry man."

"It's okay."

"You know, you just have to wait for that right someone."

 

 _Maybe_   _you?_

Stop it! Where are these thoughts coming from?

I stared at him.

A little voice in my head was saying-

Stop it.

He's your friend.

He doesn't think of you that way.

This is wrong.

You know it's wrong.

"Shut up." I muttered, and without thinking, before I could stop myself, I leaned towards him, taking his face in my hands and closing the gap between our lips.


	22. Chapter 20- Perfectly Pleasant Experience

**Mark** - 

Our lips connected. For a second, he seemed to kiss back, only an instant, and then he wrenched away, my hands, which a second ago had been cupping his face, were now holding air.

"What the hell are you  _doing?"_

I stared at him, realizing what I'd just done. His horrified expression made me feel physically sick to my stomach.

"I-I-" I stuttered. This was not the reaction I'd been expecting. But what had I expected?

Nothing. I hadn't been thinking at all.

"I -I thought-"

"You thought wrong, Mark. I don't know what you think we have between us, but that's not it! We're friends. Nothing more."

My heart hurt, it ached. I felt anger course through me, and a feeling I hadn't had in several days. 

Look at him.

He teased you.

He's laughing at you.

You're a joke to him.

I was furious. Embarrassed. He made a fool of me. I felt a white hot wave of hatred wash over me. For once, I didn't fight it, welcoming it.

 

 **Dark** -

Mark was already angry and hurt, all he needed was that little push, which I generously provided, and I was there.

  
I smiled and grabbed Sean's chin, forcing him to look at me.

He glared at me, startled.   
"Let me go, Mark."

  
"I'm afraid I can't do that. What are you gonna do? You can't do anything. You're pathetic. Weak"

  
"I'm strong."

  
"Really? Is that why Signe left you?"

  
"She didn't leave me, it was a mutual agreement!"

  
"Uh huh, okay. Keep lying."

  
Sean wrenched his face from my grip, standing up from the couch and backing away. I followed him, taking my time.

  
"M-Mark?"

  
"Almost, but not quite. It's nice to finally meet you, Sean."

  
"What the-?" he started, but I cut him off, and before he knew what was happening, I had pinned him against the wall, smashing my lips against his. Taken by surprise, he was too shocked to fight, but he was stiff, unyielding, resisting. He managed to pull away.

"Mark?" he gasped, close enough that I could feel his warm breath on my face.

"Shh. If you just relax, you will find this a perfectly pleasant experience." I purred before attacking his lips again. He tensed,but he was human, and as humans do, he responded to touch. Seconds later he relaxed, sinking into the kiss, lips moving against mine.

Putty in my hands.

  
I moved my lips away from his. His eyes were closed and he moved his head towards me, lips seeking mine again, his body ruling his actions, as I'd known it would.  I moved my lips to the base of his throat. I whispered against his skin "Sean?"

"Y-yea?" he gasped.

  
"I need your... help with something," I purred against his neck.

  
"W-what is it?" he asked breathlessly.

  
I took my time before answering, slowly planting a line of kisses down his neck, lingering a second before doing the next one, moving down slightly each time.

  
"I'm looking for a friend of mine. I think you know where he is."

  
I bit  the soft, pale flesh of his neck, not too hard, but it was enough to make him gasp.

  
"What are you talking about?" I could feel his throat vibrate against my lips as he spoke.

  
"You know." I whispered, attacking his neck again, smiling to myself when he let out a moan, shivering as I found his sweet spot.

  
"Just relax. You're fine. " I purred. The moment I said the last word, he seemed to melt, losing all tension, as loose and relaxed as a puppet on a  slack string. I reached the base of his throat and started my way back up, a line of kisses up his neck, his lower jaw, his chin, kissing his lips and then his cheekbones, ending right under his ear.

  
"Come on, Anti." I whispered in his ear before biting the soft skin.

  
"What? N-no! I don't want him, no!" I cut off Sean's cries by attacking his lips again. "Come on Anti, I know you're in there!" I growled, biting down on Sean's lip, him eliciting a sound that was half gasp, half moan. His hands moved to my shoulders, pushing me away and pulling me closer at the same time, moving to my chest. I kissed him roughly, forcefully, and the hands became rough, angry, violent. I was suddenly pushed away with a strength that couldn't possibly belong to Sean. Smiling, I hit the wall on the other side of the room with a gasp. Sean pushed himself away from the wall and walked towards me, grinning.

  
"Hi, Dark."

  
"Hello, Anti."


	23. Chapter 21- Pushing the Issue

**Dark-**

He walks toward me, grinning. I smile, until I see him raise his fist. Before I can react, his hand flies toward my face, connecting painfully with my jaw. I stumble back and glare at him, hand gingerly pressed to my throbbing cheek.

"What the hell, Anti?" I spit.

"That, my friend, was for kissing me." he smirks.

"What, you didn't enjoy it?"

"Not necessarily."

"Then why did you kiss back?"

_Why am I pushing the issue?_

_Why do I care?_

_It was just to get Anti back, nothing more._

He scowls. "I didn't kiss back. I pushed you away, idiot."

I press forward. "Yea, but you kissed back. For a second. It wasn't Sean, it was you."

"You're an idiot, Dark. You know that?" He glares at me. "And you know what else you are? Pathetic. You're letting Marks little crush mess with your thoughts. You're a demon, for fuck's sake. Fucking act like it."

I feel a sharp pain in my chest, a blow far worse then the one Anti inflicted to my face. He looks at me in disgust and turns away, heading for the stairs. "And you're any better?" He freezes but doesn't turn around. "I managed to break through on my own, several times. And you? You needed me to make out with you in order to take over. And what do you do? Do you thank me? No, you hit me and act like a complete asshole." I shake my head. "I shouldn't have bothered." 

He slowly turns around to face me, and says quietly "What did you say to me?" 

I gulp slightly, but continue. "I said I shouldn't have bothered. You don't appreciate it anyway, so I just wasted my time." As I'm speaking, he starts to slowly walk towards me. "I mean, you're a hypocrite, if I'm going to be honest. You pretend to be all tough and strong, but I think, no matter how much you'll deny it, that Sean is influencing your thoughts and feelings too. Even now, as we speak." 

He slowly comes closer, and I ramble on. "In fact, I think some of those feelings aren't even Sean's, but your own. Because if this was all Sean, and not you, you're in control. And if you didn't feel this way, at all, you, Anti" he's about a foot away from me. "Then you wouldn't let me do this." 

Before I can stop myself, before I can think, I close the gap between us and press my lips to his. He's surprised, and at first he's stiff, unyielding, but he doesn't pull away, and I take that as a good sign. After one or two agonizingly long, torturous seconds, he relaxes, his lips moving against mine. All too soon, he pulls away, looking at me with wide eyes. 

I wait for the punch, but it doesn't come. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Kissing you, idiot." I say, cupping his face in my hands and pulling him towards me. Our lips touch, and he jerks away. "Why?" he asks. 

"Because I can, dammit." I growl, moving one of my hands from his face and grabbing the front of his shirt, yanking him towards me. My hands move behind his head, pulling him closer as I raise my lips to meet his.  This time, he doesn't fight, his hands going to my waist and pulling me even closer. After what seems like an eternity and an instant, we break apart, catching our breaths. "Y-you kissed me." he says. 

"You kissed back." 

He blushes. "Shut up."

I roll my eyes and turn around, walking towards Mark's- towards my room. Anti follows a few seconds later, and stands by the door , looking at me. "What, are you gonna sleep with me, too?" 

"N-no." 

I smirk, but also feel a bit of disappointment. But why? It's not like that.

I clear my throat. "Your room's down the hall, remember?" 

"Yea. Of course." he walks away and I fall on my bed, closing my eyes. 

"Hey, Dark?"

I open my eyes to see Anti standing in the dark hallway. "Yea?" 

"I liked it." he says, but before I can respond, he's gone.

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 22- Black Diamonds

**Mark** -

Sometime in the night, I feel myself start to regain awareness, and with Dark sleeping, I manage to regain control, and feel myself flood through my body again. I look at the time- 3:00. I yawn.

Next thing I know, the sun is shining through my window, and my clock says 9:00. With a yawn, I get out of bed and shuffle down the hall to Sean's room. The door is open, so I walk in. "Sean? It's 9:00. You want breakfast?" He stirs and opens his eyes. "Dark?" 

I freeze. "N-no. Me. Mark. How do you know about him?"

He sighs and looks disappointed. "I'm very well aquainted with your friend." he says, and I freeze as the events of last night come flooding back. "A-Anti?" 

"Yep." he smirks and looks up at me with eyes like cold, hard black diamonds. "Pleasure to meet you. Sadly, you bore me. I'd much rather have Dark." he stares at me and stands up, then collapses to the floor. I kneel down next to him. "Sean?"

He groans and opens his eyes. Blue eyes. He looks at me, then gets up and stalks out without a word.

 

All through breakfast, Sean hardly says anything. Finally, I cant take it anymore. I need to know if he remembers last night. 

"Why didn't you tell me about Anti?" I blurt out.

He looks at me, startled, then glares. "Why didn't you tell me about Dark?" he counters.

"Actually, that's why I invited you here."

"Gee, well, thanks for telling me." he says sarcastically. I hold back my anger and move my chair closer to his, reaching to put my hand on his. "Listen, Sean-" but he flinches at my movement and gets up quickly. 

"Save it, Mark."

I watch his retreating figure.

He didn't finish his cereal. It's going to go soggy.


	25. Chapter 23- Towards Me

**Mark** -

"Why did you kiss me?" 

I look up from my phone, startled."W-what?"

"You heard me. Why did you kiss me?" Sean looks at me from where he's sitting beside me on the couch.

"I don't know."

"Bullshit."

"Look. I don't see why it matters. I mean, you've made your feelings perfectly clear. I fucked up, okay? I'm sorry. I'm already embarrassed, and I don't need you-" I'm cut off by him pressing his lips to mine. Without thinking, I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer. His hands move to my hair, fingers running through it. 

This.

This feels right.

This is right.

He pulls away, and I stare at him, my mind perfectly empty. 

"Speechless? I know. I'm hot." 

"Shut up." I say, pulling his face towards mine. His hands move to the hem of my shirt, tugging at it. I pull away and smirk at him. "You didn't say please."

"Fuck you."

"All in good time."

He flushes red, and then his eyes glint wickedly. He suddenly lunges towards me, pushing me so that I'm laying down on the couch, looking up at him. He kisses me, and I kiss back eagerly. I feel his hands travel under my shirt and run over my chest. He pulls up the shirt, and I raise my arms to help him lift it over my head. He tosses it to the floor before attacking my lips again, hands resting on my chest. He bites my lip and I gasp. I feel him smirk against my mouth, and with one hand on my chest, his other hand moves to the nape of my neck and slides into my hair. He tugs on my dark locks and I moan again, tugging at his shirt. He smirks widely and pulls away, climbing off me and going the stairs without a word. 

"Fucking tease!" I yell after him, and I hear him laugh in response.

Asshole.

 

**********************************

Don't worry, the sweetness ends there.

How is this going? What do you guys think?

We're nearing the end.


	26. Chapter 24- Mutual

**Mark-**

Sean has extended his stay by two weeks. 

There seems to be a mutual yet unspoken agreement not to mention Anti or Dark. 

Things continue on as normal.

We're happy. 

 

Sean gives me a peck on the cheek before leaving. He's going food shopping, since my lazy ass won't. 

I sit down on the couch, deciding to pretend to be productive for once, and start to edit. I don't know how much time passes when I'm interrupted by a knock on the door.

Why is he knocking?

"Come in." I call, looking down at my laptop again. I hear the door open and close a second later, and Sean walks in. I smile and look up with bleary eyes, exhausted from the screen. 

"Hey S-Amy?"

 ************

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, MY FELLOW AMERICANOS!


	27. IMPORTANT- NET NEUTRALITY

Listen up.

Unless you've been living under a rock the last month or so, you've heard about the attack on our net neutrality. 

A quick rundown: Net neutrality are the laws in place that protect our freedom on the internet. They let us do what we want, when and where we want- besides crazy shit like buying drugs and firearms and looking up instructions on how to make bombs and stuff. Net neutrality gives us a level of anonymity on the internet, without having to worry about being tracked or controlled.

The FCC (Federal Communications Commission), lead by Ajit Pai, wants to end that. In less then 24 hours, they will be voting to kill our net neutrality.

Imagine your phone company controlling who you can and cannot call, and listening in on all your conversations.

That's what our internet experience will be like if this happens. 

And everything has a ripple effect- this won't stop here, if it happens. I can't tell you what will happen, but it won't be good, I can assure you of that.

The goal of this is to make the internet a more profitable place, namely for our internet service providers (ISP's), big companies with lots of money. 

And where does that leave us?

If this happens, our internet service providers will be able to slow down or completely block certain websites- and yes, we're at risk.

Quotev, Wattpad, AO3, Tumblr, Reddit, YouTube, all of those- when they see that you frequent these websites, they can make you pay more to access them. 

Website that has political opinions your ISP doesn't agree with?

Three hours to load.

This CANNOT happen. 

And we CAN do something.

YOU can do something.

I've already contacted numerous people, made my voice heard. Please, spread the word through any social media or means you can! Make your voices heard.

Markiplier made an excellent video that explains this better then I can, complete with links in the description to contact your representatives, senator, and the FCC. I urge you to watch it, if you haven't already:

[www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHyMORrsaYk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHyMORrsaYk)

And God forbid this does go through, I can assure you, I, as well as millions of Americans, will continue to fight. I hope you will too. 

Well, America? The time is ticking. Let's see what the next 24 hours hold for our future


	28. Chapter 25-  Tension

**Mark** -

I look at her, surprised. 

She looks good. 

She always looks good.

She smiles, but it's not exactly a happy one. "Hey, Mark. Sorry for dropping in so suddenly, I-"

"No, no, it's fine. Really." 

She motions toward the couch. "Mind if I-?"

"Sure!" I quickly move all the crap off the cushion next to me and put it on the coffee table. She sits down next to me. I can physically feel the tension in the room. 

"Mark, I want to apologize. I shouldn't have left. I didn't know what was going on, and to be honest, I still don't, but I should have stayed and helped you. I was cowardly and scared, and I'm truly sorry. And you have every right to be mad at me, but I hope that one day you can forgi-" 

I cut her off midsentence, leaning over and bringing my lips to hers.


	29. Chapter 26- Routine

**Mark** -

 

**"I hope one day you can forgi-" I cut her off midsentence, leaning over and bringing my lips to hers.**

 

She kisses back eagerly, her arms going around my neck. 

This feels good.

This is routine.

Just a few days ago, I would have done anything to do this again.

The kiss deepens, and I move my body so that Amy is beneath me on the couch.

But.

Sean. 

Amy's hands slide into my hair, expelling the thought from my mind.

I honestly don't know if we would have gone further, because we never got the chance. I hear the door open, and we both freeze. Sean steps in, and I feel a wave of guilt surge through me, made a thousand times worse when I see the expression on his face.

He drops the bags of food to the floor, and I gently get off of Amy, scrambling to my feet. 

"Sean, I can explain." 

Amy seems to see what's happening, and gets to her feet, saying "It's my fault. I didn't know. If anyone should take the blame, it's me."

"Go." Sean says without a shred of emotion.

"But-" 

"Just go!"

Amy gives me an apologetic look before hurrying past Sean, who hardly seems to notice her, and out the door.

I wait for him to say something, anything, but he stands there, dead silent. Seconds pass, but they feel like hours. I wait for him to say something, yell, scream, maybe even hit me. But what he does instead is a million times worse- nothing.

After an eternity, he meets my gaze and says one word before turning away and going up the stairs. 

"Why?"               


	30. Chapter 27- Red

**Mark** -

"Sean, she didn't know about us. It wasn't her fault."

I follow him up the stairs, stopping at the top step next to him. 

He laughs coldly. "Us? There is no us. And if there was, you certainly revealed how important it was to you."

"Sean, please!"

"No, Mark."

"But-"

"Just don't. I really don't want to hear it. Don't waste your breath."

"But I..."

I what?

He looks at me, impatient, waiting. 

"I." I stop. I don't know what to say.

He looks away.

"Don't bother. I'll book a flight today, and by tomorrow I'll be out of your hair. You can be with Amy." 

What? 

I don't want to be with Amy. To be honest, I don't know what I want. But I do know one thing. I can't let him leave.

"You can't go."

"Why not?"

"Because I...I.." 

Say it.

"Because I still need to film more videos with you."  As soon as the words come out, I wish I could take them back, but it's too late. 

He looks at me, and is it just me, or are there tears in his eyes?

There are. And it's my fault.

He shakes his head. "I love you, Mark. And you... I don't think you know what you want." 

He turns away and starts back down the stairs, and I grab his arm.

"Don't touch me." he says harshly, yanking himself away from my grip, hard.

Too hard.

In slow motion, I watch as he looses his footing and falls down the stairs, eyes wide. He hits his head, once, twice, and lands at the bottom, limp. I run down the stairs and repress the urge to vomit when I see the blood beginning to pool around his head, staining his green locks red.


	31. Chapter 28- Without a Response

**Mark** -

I panic, kneeling down, shaking him, yelling his name, without a response. He could very well be dead, if it weren't for the faint pulse in his wrist and slight rythmic rise and fall of his chest. 

I call the police. 

The emergency responders arrive, loading him into the stretcher. I'm all ready to climb in the back of the ambulance with him when a paramedic puts a hand to my chest. 

"Sorry, sir. Only family allowed. What's your relation with him?" 

"I'm..." I pause.

Say it. 

"I'm his friend."

The minute the words pass through my lips, I feel sick to my stomach. But why?

We are friends.

Or at least, we were. 

Whatever happened, happened. 

It didn't mean anything. 

Stupid to even think about it. 

And, after everything I've done, I'm not worthy to even call myself his friend, certainly nothing more. 

Then why does it hurt so much?


	32. Chapter 29- Madness Is Me

**Mark** -

 I drive in the front with the other paramedic. 

They wheel Sean into the hospital, and I run after him.

I'm sitting in the room with him, watching him. He could almost be sleeping. 

A minute later the doctor comes in and walks up to me. He's handsome, with sandy hair and blue eyes, and he looks to be my age. 

"Hi, sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. So we can take care of Sean."

Absolutely not.

"No. I'm not leaving him." I glare. I must look like a mess, eyes red, hair disheveled, but I really don't care.

He looks like a nice person, but it's clear he isn't used to being spoken to this way. I can see a flash of annoyance in his eyes, but it's quickly replaced with a polite but obviously forced smile. 

"I'm sorry, sir, but you can't be here."

"No!" I scowl. 

His smile falters, and he glances at the paperwork in his hand. 

"Mark, right?"

"Yes." I say curtly. 

"Just to know- what is your relationship with Mr.McLoughlin?"

"I don't see why it matters." I spit out the words.

"Please, sir, it's for paperwork."

"I'm-"  Why am I hesitating? He looks at me, waiting. I take a deep breath. 

"I'm his boyfriend."

The doctor's nose wrinkles. "Oh...I see." he stares at me, then looks at Sean.

"Really? What do you see?"

"Nothing." 

He looks at Sean again, then me, and his lip curls.

"Well, I see something. I see a homophobic piece of shit. " I snarl. 

"Sir, I didn't mean that."

"I don't give a shit what you meant." I stand up. "You obviously have a problem, and you can say it to my face, asshole."

The doctor takes a step back. "Sir, please, just calm down." 

"Don't tell me what to do, I am calm!" 

The doctor reaches over and hits a button on the wall. 

"What did you just do? What was that?" 

"Nothing, sir."

I stride over to him and grab him by his crisp, white collar, shaking him. "What did you do?" I shout. He looks past me, over my shoulder, and I turn to see two burly men walk in and start towards me. I turn my attention back to the doctor. "Are you fucking kidding me? You called security on me! You piece of shit!" I push him into the wall and feel a hand on my shoulder. I whirl around. "Don't touch me!" I snarl. 

Is  this Dark?

No. I think this madness is me.

The other man walks towards me and grabs my arms, pinning them behind my back. 

"Get your fucking hands off me! You can't do this!" 

He starts half pushing, half dragging me to the door. "No! You can't do this! I know my rights!" I scream. I kick and thrash, but the men are a head taller then me, and easily much stronger. They pull me through a maze of corridors and past rooms. I see passing staff and patients stop and stare at me, but I don't care. I stop screaming, my voice hoarse, and take a few seconds to catch my breath before I turn to the guard on my right. "Please, man, I need to go back. He can't be alone, what if he wakes up? I need to be there for him. I can't leave him here, I need to apolo-"  
 I stop. They don't need to know what happened. "Please."

He looks at me with pity and sympathy, and understanding. "I'm sorry. I've got orders. The best thing you can do is go home and get some rest."


	33. Chapter 33

**Mark** -

They lead me to the main entrance of the hospital. They no longer have to drag me along. If anything, they have to carry me. All the fight has gone out of me. They leave me by the door with apologetic looks. I walk outside, but I have no plan.

I could take a cab home.

No. After having Sean over for so long, I can't go home without him, knowing that he's here, because of me. I can't look at those stairs without seeing him limp at the bottom. I can't go home and clean up that puddle of blood, sticky by now. 

 

I sit on the sidewalk, leaning againt the building, eyes closed. 

I don't care anymore. 

Next thing I know, I see someone standing over me, tapping my shoulder. 

She's wearing scrubs. 

"Hi. I'm Cierra, a nurse here. You alright, sir?"

"Uh, yea. Fine."

"Really? Because you don't look like it."

I stand up and brush myself off, explaining briefly my predicament. 

When I'm done, she smiles. 

"Jackass Jimmy."

I frown, thinking I've heard her wrong. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You had the privilege of meeting Jackass Jimmy. Good looks, great skills on the operating table, great money, no doubt, but an asshole all around. Complete homophobe."

"That would be him."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of this."

She walks inside, and a few minutes later returns, grinning from ear to ear. 

"What happened?"

"Oh, I just talked to his supervisor, who also happens to be my brother. You can go see him now, if you like."

I run up to her and hug her before releasing her, both of us blushing. "T-thank you."

She smiles. "Not a problem. I'll see you around, uh-" 

"Mark. Mark Fischbach."

"See you later, Mark." She walks back inside, and I stare after her, running a hand through my hair and taking a deep breath. 

What am I waiting for?

And with that question in my head, I grit my teeth and walk back inside.


	34. Chapter 31- So Much Meaning

(This is the final chapter. Please, click on the link to the song, and play it in another tab as you read. Trust me, it's worth it. Your support through this story has been so much more than I could ever ask for. I'm sad it's coming to an end, but all the same, thank you for reading.)

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3lWwMHFhnA 

 

 **Mark** - 

"He has multiple brain contusions, severe trauma." Jackass says. He's being a lot nicer now. 

"And? He's going to be okay, right?" 

The doctor looks at the floor, silent. 

"Right?" I say again.

He sighs and looks at me. "His internal bleeding is serious, and he hit his head badly. Very badly. Chances are he may be in a coma. How long? Time will tell. And if he even does wake up, he may never be the same again. He has lots of damage to the section of the brain that controls behavior, personality, etc." 

The doctor drones on, but I don't hear any of it.

 _Coma_.

_Coma._

_Coma_.

 _Coma_.

I hear the word repeat itself over and over in my head.  _Co-ma. Co-ma._ My heart is beating to the rhythm of the word, picking up speed.  _Coma. Coma. Coma. Comacomacomacomacoma._

All because of me.

What have I done?

The word changes, and instead of an internal beat, it becomes an external chant. 

"Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean." I croon the name over and over, a one syllable prayer. I flutter around his bed, cupping his cold cheek with my palm, fixing his messy green hair. "Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean."

"Mr.Fischbach, it might be best if you go home, get some rest.We'll notify you if-"

I shake my head violently. "Sean, Sean, Sean." The only word I can say, not enough and yet all too much at the same time. 

 

If you repeat a word over and over, after a while, it loses its meaning. Becoming a meaningless jumble of letters in your mouth. 

This was different. No matter how many times I repeated it, this simple, four letter word would never cease to carry so much meaning, so much weight, so much life. 

Something I may have ended. 

At some point, the doctor walked out.I stood there, over Sean, gripping his hand. 

And for the first time in months, I cried. 

I watched as the tears rolled down my cheeks and landed on his shirt, his face, in his hair, making me cry even more.

And I didn't care. 

Because all I cared about was getting an answer to one simple question- 

Why?

Why did this have to happen?

Why isn't there anything I can do about it?

Because it wasn't fair. I had found something special, and I had ruined it. And now I might never be able to fix it. 

I opened my mouth, and words came spilling out. 

"I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. This is all my fault. I can fix this. Just wake up. Come back." Nothing happened, and I broke down all over again.

"Godammit, just wake up! Fucking wake up already, please! Please, please, please. I can't lose you. I love you, Sean. Please! I finally say it, and you leave me! You asshole, you said you loved me! Prove it! Goddammit, wake up and prove it! Just wake up. Please. Please." 

I might as well have been speaking to a corpse. I let go of his hand and let go of him, giving up. I wiped my face of the tears. There was no point begging.It wouldn't do anything. 

I turned around, not sure of where I was going, but I knew I'd be back. 

I had one foot out of the room when I heard something I never thought I'd hear again, in that voice.

"Mark?"

 

 

**The End.**


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